I'd like to mention that I am not the artist of this drawing or any other art posted so far in this blog. If I know who the artist is, I will credit the artist. If I post any of my own art work in the future, I will make sure it is credited appropriately. However, I found this image along with the one in the previous post on Google images and do not take credit for them. Whoever is the artist for this uterus, they should know that it is adorable!
I happened to be on stumbleupon.com, a website that helps you discover random websites around the internet at every click of the "stumble" button. The websites it directs you to obviously depend on the preferences you choose in the beginning of registering such as arts, movies, music, science, self-improvement, etc. I came across a random blog that didn't look anything special, a jewelry blog. I figured i'd give it a chance since i'm exploring. On the page was what the blog's author claimed to be a letter to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine product, a letter that allegedly won PC magazine's 2007 editor's choice for best webmail award-winning letter. I must warn you, after reading this letter, I did more research and found a business blog that told me this wasn't so. However, whether the letter was a winner of anything or not, it is a legitimate complaint written by a real person, and it has gained popularity around the internet probably because its author is not alone in how they feel.
Here's the letter:
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
The author of the blog "Everything About Business Except the Bottom Line: FunnyBusiness", posts in an entry on April 7, 2009:
I didn't bother to do any more research because I honestly didn't think it important whether the letter was award-winning or if it was actually sent to Mr. James Thatcher or to someone of authority in Procter and Gamble. However, it is indeed hilarious, and joke or no joke, the message surfaced from a real place and real thoughts. I wonder how many women feel like this about the slogan? I wonder what the company did as a response once it got around? I even wondered what I would've done if I had been in the position and had the power to respond and make a change as a manager. Then again, as a woman, I don't think the words "happy" and "period" would've ever crossed my mind in the same sentence.
-Pam
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